It's really not, but it sure does feel that way. Today is the first day of towing my trailer all by myself.
I can't even really believe it's happening - it felt like it was taking me forEVER to get everything ready to leave. It took so long to find a car that could tow the trailer, and then I had to wait to register it, and I was away for a week right before I wanted to leave...so the past week has been a whirlwind of preparations and learning. I couldn't have done it in such a short amount of time without a LOT of help, and I can't thank Jim Prahl enough. From hooking me up with the right mechanic to replace the wheel bearings on the trailer, to building the front rack for my hang glider in no time flat, to giving me a place to sleep while said mechanic had my trailer overnight (my trailer's parts are apparently very rare and difficult to track down), and doing all of this willingly and while he was in the midst of his own preparations for leaving...it blows my mind what a generous person he is.
So, after brekky with Jim this morning (he had a bunch of bacon he had to cook before he left, and I'm generous enough to help him eat it) and finishing up the padding on my hang glider racks, I got the trailer ready to leave all by myself. I even backed up the truck to the hitch & hooked it up all by myself. And then I towed the mofo right out of Quest Air - all by myself. I know it's not brain surgery or anything, but it's pretty exciting for me.
The phrase at the top of this page is "courage is not the absence of fear". Anyone who thinks I'm not the least bit scared to be heading out on my own, towing a trailer, which I've never done before, with no real itinerary and no final destination...is insane. I'm terrified! There are so many things that possibly can and probably will go wrong at some point. And it's not easy being on the road all the time, let alone doing it by myself. It's constant researching and it means never just being able to roll out of bed in the morning and grab your favorite breakfast - because you have no idea where to find it. But it's also extremely exciting, and for various reasons I really really want to do it...one of which is that you never know what each day will bring (see the double-edge sword?). So I don't let the fear stop me.
So today around noon, even though I was so scared I could have easily let that fear paralyze me (and I could very easily have hung around Quest forever), I pulled on my big girl pants and I drove right out of there. And I'm proud of that. It energizes me to do new things, and even though I'm so exhausted right now I can barely see straight, I'm sitting here smiling when I think of what I've accomplished today. I'm living the kind of life I want to live, even though it's not as easy and even though it scares me sometimes. And I can't wait for tomorrow.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Sometimes I think I have the most adorable grandma ever. My birthday is on Friday, and today I received the following email from my Grandma (spelling/punctuation all hers):
yOU KNOW I PREFER PAPER OVER COMPUTER, BUT SINCE I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO GET TO A CARD STRE IN MONTHS, I AM FORCED TO DO IT "YOUR WAY".I DO WISH YOU A PERFECT DAY (AND A PERFECT LIFE IN A PERFECT WORLD )...a BEAUTIFUL SUNSET, A GREAT RIDE (HOW I ENVY THAT!), GOOD COMPANY AND A SOFT PILLOW. l LOVE YOU MY "CHELLE, AND PRAY FOR YOU EVERY DAY THAT YOU WILL FIND YOUR HEART'S DESIRE. ITIS EASY TO REMEMBER AS I SEE A LITTLEDUTCH WOODEN SHOE AND A CUP FROM THE OLD N'ORLEANS AND A ST THERESE MEDAL FROM SPAIN.NOT AS GOOD AS SEEING YOUR SMILING FACE, BUT LOVELY REMINDERS OF YOU.BE HAPPY, MY LOVE.GRANDMA
As I told her when I called her to thank her, it's not easy - what I'm doing. It's really hard, and it can be isolating, so it's really nice to know that people are thinking of me. It makes me feel connected and that makes me happy. I don't have a place to put actual physical cards anyway - so the email version, or "my way", gives me what I need without forcing me to find a place for more stuff. Personally, I think that email was better than any card - I doubt she would have found one that said it any better than she did. And it proves my hypothesis that I need very few things in order to be happy.
All this comes as I'm in the middle of getting myself (and my things) ready to leave Quest and to start on the meat of my trip - pulling my trailer behind my new-to-me pickup truck. That's right, folks, I now drive a pickup truck. If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be driving a pickup truck and living in a trailer I would have laughed my ass off. I resisted buying the pickup, but with all the energy I put into finding an SUV, I had to finally accept the fact that it just wasn't working out. It seems the universe is on board with me driving a pickup truck, but not so much with the SUV.
Similarly, I just yesterday had to let go of the idea that I would leave Quest in time to get to Tracy's house (an hour from Austin, TX) for my birthday. I had thought that it would be really cool to celebrate my birthday in Austin, but I had so many things to do before I could leave Quest, and I spent last week as a driver on the Flytec Race & Rally hang gliding competition. The Race & Rally is a really cool competition, but it's very exhausting because it moves every day, so you're in a different motel every night and you never know where you're going to be the next day. Not very conducive to getting shit done.
So I got back to Quest Saturday night, and although I sprung into action on Sunday to cross things off my list, the Memorial Day holiday threw a wrench into my plans - no registering the truck & trailer, no getting the trailer's wheel bearings and tires replaced, etc. And the rack I was going to have installed on the cab portion of the truck turned out to not fit properly, so now I'm waiting till Friday to get a beefier one installed.
Thankfully, I still have several friends around who'd love to celebrate with me, so in reality I may just end up having a better time here than I would in Austin. Because everything happens for a reason, and when you let go of preconcieved notions and just go with the flow, everything really starts to come together. Now all I need to do is remember that and make it a habit. Should be a piece of cake, right?