It's really not, but it sure does feel that way. Today is the first day of towing my trailer all by myself.
I can't even really believe it's happening - it felt like it was taking me forEVER to get everything ready to leave. It took so long to find a car that could tow the trailer, and then I had to wait to register it, and I was away for a week right before I wanted to leave...so the past week has been a whirlwind of preparations and learning. I couldn't have done it in such a short amount of time without a LOT of help, and I can't thank Jim Prahl enough. From hooking me up with the right mechanic to replace the wheel bearings on the trailer, to building the front rack for my hang glider in no time flat, to giving me a place to sleep while said mechanic had my trailer overnight (my trailer's parts are apparently very rare and difficult to track down), and doing all of this willingly and while he was in the midst of his own preparations for leaving...it blows my mind what a generous person he is.
So, after brekky with Jim this morning (he had a bunch of bacon he had to cook before he left, and I'm generous enough to help him eat it) and finishing up the padding on my hang glider racks, I got the trailer ready to leave all by myself. I even backed up the truck to the hitch & hooked it up all by myself. And then I towed the mofo right out of Quest Air - all by myself. I know it's not brain surgery or anything, but it's pretty exciting for me.
The phrase at the top of this page is "courage is not the absence of fear". Anyone who thinks I'm not the least bit scared to be heading out on my own, towing a trailer, which I've never done before, with no real itinerary and no final destination...is insane. I'm terrified! There are so many things that possibly can and probably will go wrong at some point. And it's not easy being on the road all the time, let alone doing it by myself. It's constant researching and it means never just being able to roll out of bed in the morning and grab your favorite breakfast - because you have no idea where to find it. But it's also extremely exciting, and for various reasons I really really want to do it...one of which is that you never know what each day will bring (see the double-edge sword?). So I don't let the fear stop me.
So today around noon, even though I was so scared I could have easily let that fear paralyze me (and I could very easily have hung around Quest forever), I pulled on my big girl pants and I drove right out of there. And I'm proud of that. It energizes me to do new things, and even though I'm so exhausted right now I can barely see straight, I'm sitting here smiling when I think of what I've accomplished today. I'm living the kind of life I want to live, even though it's not as easy and even though it scares me sometimes. And I can't wait for tomorrow.